Majority of us want to meet and settle with the “right” person thus want to build a lasting relationship because a loving relationship can be the foundation of a meaningful life, and our anchor amid life’s difficulties and uncertainties. Unfortunately, many romantic relationships end in dissolution and 40 percent of marriages end in divorce.
We are forced to ask ourselves the question; what are we doing wrong? The simple truth is that relationships don’t just take care of themselves; they require commitment, self-awareness, unselfishness and willingness to change and grow. We need to learn to shift from “me” to “we” as the central focus of our relationship with each other.
In as much as every couple is unique and the longer two people share their lives together, the more likely complex factors are involved. Below are some of the most common factors many relationship fail.
Loss of trust is one of the most damaging factors in a relationship. Without trust a relationship misses safety and security which are the key anchors to a strong bond. Trust can be damaged and repaired but if it’s absent then that relationship is doomed. It will just be like building a sand castle at low tide and you will always wonder when it’s going to get washed away.
The elements that frequently draw two people towards each other at the beginning of a relationship is the physical attraction, sexual passion, common interest, socio-economic backgrounds, etc often becomes less central as the realities and demands of day-to-day life sets in. They begin to see their respective life plans as “what I want” instead of “what we want”.
This is a big one. Numerous writers and studies have identified communication (or lack thereof) as one of the top factors for break-up and divorce in our society today. Couples should be good listeners and express themselves clearly.
The longer a couple has been together in a committed relationship, the greater the possibility of financial incompatibility. Couples need to agree on how to spend their money and have a good system in place for paying of bills.
Sex is a hot-button issue and it has led to plenty of break-ups. Bad or infrequent sex is totally enough of a deal breaker to justify ending a relationship.
There is a tendency that when you are not close in age, you have a higher chance of splitting up. According to Renee Fisher in an article for Huffington Post, She mined a study conducted by Emory University, which found that the divorce rate for married couples rose exponentially as the gap in their ages got larger. For example, a one-year age difference increases your odds of divorce by three percent. But a ten year gap is closer to the 40 percent range for divorce, compared to couples who are the same age. The likely cause is differing levels of maturity and life experience.
Finally, it takes hard work, dedication, commitment and a lot of communication to stay close over the long haul.